Baby, it's cold outside!

When I woke up this morning it was 24° outside, right now it is 32°. Though it's not currently snowing, it was earlier. I happen to like the way the world looks when it's covered in snow, I think it's beautiful and sparkly. I also enjoy throwing snowballs at people, because I'm kind of a jerk, which I'm okay with. This will be my fourth winter in Chicago, and already I can tell it's going to be a cold one. I have my goose-down jacket and  mittens, new Uggs (all are courtesy of my mother), I have different colored scarves, and a lot of beanies. Cold will not touch me, except for my cheeks and lips, which if I need to I can wrap up with my scarves! I'm bundled up from head to toe!  I'm totally ready for the cold!

But... I'm not ready for the ice. The ice petrifies me. Today was the first day I've had to walk to work in the snow/ice. It took me twice as long, as I employ the "walk like a penguin" (or robot) technique. I walk slow, with my back straight (which is really good for my posture), and I take rather small steps. People who pass me while walking at a normal rate look like speed-racers in comparison. I am the tortoise with my slow and steady steps. I also think I look ridiculous, but my fear of falling wins out over my fear of embarrassment. 

My first winter here was one they called "Snowpocalypse", it was one of the worst winters Chicago has seen in 40 years. It was one hell of a hazing Chicago gave me to see if I wanted to join, but I made it through! But not without some bumps, bruises and a big ol' swollen knee. Sometime toward the beginning of winter I took I bad spill and landed on my right knee, it hurt something awful. And this was when I lived on the 3rd floor of a 3-story walk-up. So many steps! So after my fall I couldn't walk very well for a week or so, so I rarely left the apartment. And since then I've had this awful fear of walking in the snow. 

So now I have to figure out if I'm going to leave incredibly early to walk to work, or if I'm going to be the dork that takes the bus for less than 1/2 a mile, in order to catch another bus that will take me 1/4 of a mile. Ugh, option #1 scares me, and option #2 makes me feel like a lazy bum! 

Oh well, I chose this city, so I'll take whatever it throws at me (for now).

Lost in Music

I get lost in music a lot. I take public transit, or I walk places, and when I do I listen to my iPod. I know this normal because all of the people on the train also have their headphones on, and they're zoned out with blank stares on their faces. Sometimes it gets rather creepy looking around at all the blank faces, I often wonder what they're listening to. But I am not like them, I listen to my music and I tap my feet, or I sway my hips (not too much, it is a crowded train after all), or I rap my fingers to the beat, and most times I start doing these things without realizing it. My music makes me want to move, the beat of the music is in my body. Music makes me feel.
Music makes me feel wonderful, sometimes it makes me sad, or happy, or energized. Music always makes me feel something, even music I don't like... It makes me feel annoyed.

Today I'm supposed to be doing homework. I have a lot of Biology and Math that I should be working on, but instead I got caught up listening to a Concrete Blonde album. Their music makes me feel sad and happy at the same time (sappy?). I've been listening to the album "Still in Hollywood" all afternoon, repeating certain songs a little bit too much. I think I've listened to Side of the Road three times, Tomorrow, Wendy at least 4 times, and I have no idea how many times I've listened to Joey. As I'm writing this Everybody Knows, and 100 Games of Solitaire have played, and Simple Twist of Fate is coming up next. Concrete Blonde is rocking my Saturday!

There really wasn't any point of this post other than to explain in words how music makes my life better.

Up for the Challenge

I used to write all the time. My purse, or messenger bag, was always heavy with composition notepads, and rife with ink stains. I would write everything I was feeling and thinking, I would compose poems and songs having to do with love and heartbreak. Everyday I would write something new, something I believed to be so deep and important... And then I stopped writing.

One day I read the things I had been writing, I read my poems and so-called songs, and they made me sad. I realized everything I was writing was sad, or inspired by sadness. All these things I had written, thinking they were so good, they were actually pretty awful and incredibly depressing. I didn't want to write those things anymore, I didn't want to be sad anymore. So I stopped. 

Obviously I mean I stopped writing for pleasure (or as it was, pain), I still write for school, and I still write emails (and snail mail). But I haven't written anything else in a very long time.

So here I am, writing again. I think it will be better this time. I've long since removed the people, habits and things in my life that caused me to write sad/bad poems, and I'm a happier person now. I've learned to surround myself with people that make me happy, and to do things that fill me with joy.

Also, I'm older now and have much less angst than I did. Everything is not the end of the world anymore.

And speaking of people that make me happy... My very good friend, Jessica, decided to make an early New Year's Goal, and she has invited me to do the same. We're going to try to get back into journal writing, but since we're both online so much it just makes sense that the journal should be too. Ms. Jessica is a veteran blogger, along with her personal blog, she also writes a fantastic book blog that you should totally check out! So this goal may be a bit easier for her, but I think I am up for the challenge.

So starting now, I will try to write at least 2 times a week. About whatever I want to, regardless of whether I think anyone else will want to read it. And for those times I run into writer's block, I bought a little kindle book to help me come up with ideas.

Yay for goals!

Oh, yeah... You should also totally check out my friend Liz's blog... Why? Because she rocks, and you should want that in your life.